D!CK (2014)

D!CK (2014)

D!CK by Chris Towndrow


Everyone knows the age-old tale of Mr Whittington : Dick meets pussy and they go on an adventure together. With a set-up line like that, what’s not to enjoy?

Neil Barrage, MP for the UTWIT Party, is running as a candidate for Mayor of London to further his dastardly plans for world domination. See what we did there?

Dick is on his way to London to seek fame, fortune and love (or at least lust). When he meets Peter the cat they form a bond as iconic as Murtagh and Riggs, or Saatchi & Saatchi (but without the spousal abuse).

Our trio of sailors, Watt, Ware and Howe have been conceived for comedy value alone and have very little to do with the plot, other than allowing us to crowbar in lots of ‘seamen’ jokes.

Lastly but most importantly, we have the love interest in the shapely shapes of Gloria and Fabula. Their local ironmongers shop is the kind of family establishment that B&Q et al are slowly putting out of business. We could have set the story in Homebase, but the staff aren’t smutty enough.

In this tale of love and power, who will go up in the world, and who will go down?

Can we make the word ‘election’ sound rude? Against all the odds, will Dick stand firm?


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