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Chris Towndrow
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  • Comedy/Drama Fiction
    • Tow Away Zone (Sunrise series book 1)
    • Go Away Zone (Sunrise series book 2)
    • Stow Away Zone (Sunrise series book 3)
    • The Real Jamie Oliver and Other Stories
    • Signs Of Life
    • Other Writing
  • Sci-Fi Novels
    • Imperfect Isolation
    • Reprisals
    • Trip Hazard
    • Freeze Effect
    • Sacred Ground
  • Pantomimes
    • Troy Story
    • Ella & The Prince’s Balls
    • Peter Pan & The Loose Boys
    • Jack & His Giant Stalk
    • Aladdin Rub My Lamp
    • D!CK
    • Cinders
  • Stage Plays
    • Holding On
    • The Setup
    • Masks
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  • Samples

Chris Towndrow

Author & Playwright

Blog

Tow Away Zone - banner 2021
“Tow Away Zone” – Sample

“Tow Away Zone” – Sample

September 8, 2019 Chris Towndrow

FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE BOOK HERE, READ MORE FREE CHAPTERS HERE, OR BUY ON AMAZON/KINDLE

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“Go Away Zone” – Sample

“Go Away Zone” – Sample

January 13, 2021 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

‘I thought it would have been shinier.’ ‘What?’ Lolita raised a single eyebrow in the way that, weeks ago, Beckman felt only she could, before remembering that all women had some form of “Really, dufus?” disguised as something less overtly condescending / challenging / disbelieving*. (* delete as applicable). He pressed on regardless. ‘I…

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Imperfect isolation - sci-fi novel
“Imperfect Isolation” – Sample

“Imperfect Isolation” – Sample

February 13, 2019 Chris Towndrow

Jana was beginning to think that yesterday would have been a better day for it. But then, yesterday was a school day, so it had been out of the question. Maybe they should just have gone to the zoo. Her boots sank a full twenty centimetres into the snow. Left. Crunch. Right. Crunch. As…

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Reprisals - banner
“Reprisals” – Sample

“Reprisals” – Sample

February 13, 2017 Chris Towndrow

‘Supposing I said “Yes”?’ ‘That’s the general idea.’ ‘How long have we known each other?’ ‘Five months, three weeks, six days.’ ‘Could you at least try to not appear desperate?’ ‘Not funny.’ ‘How many women have there been in your life? To the nearest, say, ten?’ ‘Five.’ ‘You are so kidding.’ ‘I am deadly…

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“Sacred Ground” – Sample

“Sacred Ground” – Sample

February 13, 2019 Chris Towndrow

“I could get my sidearm and end it all now. It’s so close. The locker’s just behind me.” He turned his head indolently until his gaze fell upon the row of three grey floor-standing cabinets. The rightmost door glared at him. “But you can see it. That’s the problem.” He faced forwards again. “You…

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The Real Jamie Oliver

The Real Jamie Oliver

November 8, 2015 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

Jamie Oliver was born Margaret Ig in deepest revolutionary France some fortyfew years ago. His early years were spent living in a lake, where his parents has taken up residence to avoid the all-pervading strains of Charles Aznavour records.  At the age of five and barely out of nappies, his childhood was traumatised by…

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How Many Yellows Are There?

How Many Yellows Are There?

February 4, 2016 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

‘There are seventeen,’ the salesman said.  Cameron Beg nodded.  ‘Would you like to see the colour chart?’ continued the salesman, Simon Gillfish.  Gillfish was a slim man with a penchant for icing sugar, and would be thirty-six in four years time. He reached onto the wall-mounted rack and pulled out the folded glossy, opening…

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the new flag
The New Flag

The New Flag

March 30, 2016 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

‘What about a buffalo?’ asked Grig, shaven-headed focus of the New Flag Committee. ‘Buffalo?’ Jones, the smartly-dressed Home Minister was perplexed. ‘You know, a nice big fierce buffalo. In profile.’ Bell, the Foreign Minister, furrowed his brow. ‘What does that represent?’  ‘Well, buffaloes,’ Grig said. Bell furrowed his deep brow and took another sip…

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d4
Drominivich’s Fourth

Drominivich’s Fourth

May 2, 2016 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

The works of little-known composer Ilya Drominivich, often regarded as impenetrably complex in their orchestration, have been the subject of little enlightening scrutinisation since his death in 1975. Now, however, a critical dissection of his most under-performed work, the dark Fourth Symphony, has been uncovered. The reviewer, music journalist Arnold Hiccup, analysed all Drominivich’s…

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Alphabet Soup

Alphabet Soup

May 2, 2016 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

Tallyjohn sighed. It was getting late and they had barely made any progress. He could see the hints of frustration etching into Quiggle’s face as he sank into the chair. Tallyjohn, the King’s Master Of Letters, tapped his fingers agitatedly on the meeting room’s plain round table. Quiggle sat down opposite. ‘This is like…

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Igbad’s Rollerblading Stunts

Igbad’s Rollerblading Stunts

May 2, 2016 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

In 2018, Tarik Igbad of the Czech Republic was crowned World Rollerblading Champion. Little is known of this diminutive and foreign genius, but his enthusiasm and dedication to his craft are an example for rollerbladers everywhere. In 1997 at the age of fifteen, Tarik’s father sold all the family’s worldly possessions to buy his…

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weather ant
Weather Ant

Weather Ant

July 28, 2015 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

For many generations, mankind has sought to forecast the weather, whether it be for personal interest or the public good. To put the latest development into context, we must briefly look at how weather forecasting has evolved through history. The United Kingdom provides the sternest examination of the forecaster’s art, with its unique location…

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The Anderson Dreams

The Anderson Dreams

July 28, 2015 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

Recently uncovered in a disused well in Chad, two audio tapes give a great insight into the mind of impresario and noted Suffolk chipmunk breeder Kookie Anderson. Anderson has denied any knowledge of the tapes, or of possibly trying to conceal them, but voice analysis experts agree that the tapes are indeed self-recorded transcriptions…

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The Gardener

The Gardener

June 29, 2016 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

‘Step into the drawing room, would you, Harman.’ ‘Certainly, Mr. Wilkes.’ The gardener removed his cap, carefully wiped his boots on the rough mat by the back door, and made his way to the opulent room, its cool shade a relief from his labours. Quickly he was joined by his employer, dressed as usual…

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The way of the Dodo

The way of the Dodo

May 17, 2016 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

Every year, more species on this wonderful and diverse planet pass into extinction, many without record or even a proper wake. To go some way to redressing that balance, there follows a list of some of the more remarkable creatures that have graced this world whose last examples shuffled off this mortal coil between…

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Books by Chris Towndrow
The Rich List

The Rich List

December 19, 2016 Chris Towndrow

The annual publication of the UK “Rich List” is an eagerly awaited occasion, with much journalistic attention being given to its upper echelons. This, however, ignores the achievements of some of its less well-publicised members. In order to go some way to redress this balance, there follows an excerpt from the 2017 List. Ranked…

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chepstow
2.45 at Chepstow

2.45 at Chepstow

June 29, 2016 Chris Towndrow Comments 1 comment

‘Well Tony, a lot of excitement about this race coming up.’ ‘Yes, and a big crowd here today for what should be a real test of Digger’s comeback after his long spell out of racing.’ ‘Indeed. A lot of people really keen to see Max Digger back on form after that horrific bathroom cabinet…

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advanced sexual positions
Advanced Sexual Positions

Advanced Sexual Positions

December 24, 2016 Chris Towndrow

“The Illuminator” Good for  :  Reducing the “To Do” list Not recommended for  :  Use outdoors, overweight couples The man stands on the chair (recommend a sturdy kitchen-type chair, no wheels or cushions) with his buttocks against the chair back. The woman gets onto the chair and stands facing away from the man. The woman…

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Books by Chris Towndrow
Martian Wedding Anniversaries

Martian Wedding Anniversaries

October 31, 2014 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

The following is the official list of gifts due to Martian couples. 1st : Rock 2nd : Rock 3rd : Rock 4th : Rock 5th : Rock 6th : Rock 7th : Rock 8th : Rock 9th : Rock 10th : Rock 11th : Rock 12th : Rock 13th : Rock 14th : Rock…

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Vignette – “House Arrest”

Vignette – “House Arrest”

July 28, 2015 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

Okay then, bye! Humph. Bastards. When they leave the dog behind, they say goodbye to that. But not me. Oh no. After all, what am I to them? Only their roof, their walls, their floor. Their comfort, their security. The thing that divides them from mere animals. Except the dog. Bloody dog. At least…

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Books by Chris Towndrow
Short story – “Rude Awakening”

Short story – “Rude Awakening”

November 1, 2014 Chris Towndrow Comments 0 Comment

He couldn’t understand where the noise was coming from. The meadow was perfect Englishness – the grass almost too green, the sun high in the sky, the birds playing their tune. On the rug beside him, Kristen Scott Thomas, evidently oblivious to the cacophony that was raging, was waiting for him to kiss her…

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Read FREE samples

  • “Tow Away Zone” – Sample
  • “Go Away Zone” – Sample
  • “Imperfect Isolation” – Sample
  • “Reprisals” – Sample
  • “Sacred Ground” – Sample
  • The Real Jamie Oliver
  • How Many Yellows Are There?
  • The New Flag
  • Drominivich’s Fourth
  • Alphabet Soup

Check out my book trailer

https://www.christowndrow.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Tow-Away-Zone-Trailer-2.mp4
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